I exist, around me extends the void, the real worldโs darkness. I exist and continue blind, anxious, because people next to me are so obviously other beings, feeling nothing of what I feel. As I imagine my arrival in this world from the union of a man and a woman, and at the very moment of that conjunction, a unique opportunity is a decision taken about this me that I am, and without which for me, ultimately, there would not be anything. Of this small difference, I am the consequence. As far as I am concerned, without that there wouldnโt be anything, the same as in case of my death.
This tiny chance of my arrival suspended over void, seems to challenge the void, this infinite painful impossibility facing the unique being that I am.
The othersโ presence near me matters little, given my unsubstentiabiliity in the midst of negligence, my awareness of my loneliness. The notion of unique chance follows me in the world where I abide, and where we both, the world and myself, are total strangers to it all.
And if the world fails to grasp this consciousness of mine, trembling, I give up all hope of logical cohesion, vowing myself to immobility, first my own, then to take it to another level, of everything else, which is a situation of some staggering drunk, who mistaking his life for a candle that he has blown out, is left screaming in the dark…
Jโexiste โ autour de moi, sโรฉtend le vide, lโobscuritรฉ du monde rรฉel โ jโexiste, je demeure aveugle, dans lโangoisse : chacun des autres est tout autre que moi, je ne sens rien de ce quโil sent. Si jโenvisage ma venue au monde liรฉe ร la naissance puis ร la conjonction dโun homme et une femme, et mรชme, ร lโinstant de la conjonction โ une chance unique dรฉcida de la possibilitรฉ de ce moi que je suis : en dernier ressort lโimpossibilitรฉ folle du seul รชtre sans lequel, pour moi, rien ne serait. La plus petite diffรฉrence dans la suite dont je suis le terme : au lieu de moi avide dโรชtre moi, il nโy aurait quant ร moi que le nรฉant, comme si jโรฉtais mort.
…
Death As an Imposter (a text of Georges Bataille translated by Vadim Bystritski) โ Before and After Francis Ponge
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